On love and room-sized computers
On love and room-sized computers
Ever heard of 1960s "computer dating?"
Let’s ignore that I haven’t sent this newsletter in a LONG TIME and rejoice together that I’ve published a piece I’m really excited about. Most of the time, my stories are about sad, hard, complicated things. Not this one!
This one is about love.
It’s a collection of interviews with people who participated in a wild 1960s experiment called “computer dating,” which you can read today in New York Magazine’s The Cut. I found out about this remarkable bit of tech history a couple of years ago and I couldn’t stop thinking about it since. Nearly sixty years ago, people were using computers to find dates. Thousands of people — no, tens of thousands! They filled out these pretty invasive questionnaires on paper (How much do your parents make? What was your SAT score?), sent in their answers, and a gigantic, punch-card-fed computer would spit out a couple of matches.
My interviewees were so sweet and funny, their charm spilling off the page. I can’t help but think about their 1960s selves, the women in miniskirts and eyeliner and the men all looking like Robert Redford. I’ve read their answers probably 5,000 times, and they make me smile every time. Take Jeff Serotte, now 80, who met his wife Brenda in 1965:
I got a list of six young ladies’ names. I started going through the list. The first one really wasn't interested. She had just come back from vacation, she had her mind elsewhere. She wasn't into the date at all. And the next one just had no pizzaz, just a sad personality. She wasn't fun. She wasn't funny. She just didn't really have anything.
No pizzaz! What a kind burn.
Or Mimi Kennedy, now 73, who was matched with her future husband Larry while a first year at Smith College:
I see Larry at a dance, playing music. And I think, “Oh, my God did I miss the boat on this one...” So I walked up to him at a break. I said “Hi, I'm Mimi Kennedy, I was your perfect match mate my freshman year.” He looked me up and down. He went: “Far out.” And walked away.
I’m not going to spoil more of the story. Please read it, and share it wherever you can. It’s part of a larger project I’m working on and it’s important to me that it reaches as many people as possible.
Oh, and if you have a great online dating story, please let me know! Respond to this email or email me hania@substack.com.
So you get something more out of this newsletter than just a heartfelt ask to read my work, here’s a couple of recommendations:
Book: Owls of the Eastern Ice by Jonathan C. Slaght. The most remote wilderness in the world, gigantic owls, Russian hermits, ethanol drinking. Unexpectedly, a wild ride.
Audiobook: Empire of Pain by Patrick Radden Keefe. If you’ve been meaning to read this book, which is like Succession but infuriating, because it’s real, my hot tip is to listen to the author read it while you’re doing laundry or going on your hot girl walks. A+ experience. In the US, the best way to get this is to sign up for the Libby app, and get the audiobook from the library
Newsletter: Brooding by Kathryn Jezer-Morton from The Cut. The author is a researcher who studies momfluencers, but the newsletter stretches beyond that. The latest issue, for example, is a fascinating rumination on why women are obsessed with fall (spoiler to give you a taste: climate change! lack of childcare!)
Podcast: Normal Gossip from Defector Media. It’s extremely juicy gossip, but from regular people. You know it’s good, because it’s just one piece of truly bonkers gossip per episode.
